My good friend and I had a conversation one day about how it seems that more and more of our friends are getting married every year. We were 22 years old, just finishing up our University careers and were getting ready for the real world.

It then struck me.

The woman that I’ll be with next year is the person I’m going to marry.

While it might seem rash and unjustified, I assure you that it’s a reality. For those who are younger than me and are reading this, pay attention. For those who are older, well…I hope your significant other is someone you’re prepared to exchange wedding vows with. No significant other? Well, you better start looking.

You see, this conclusion stems from my knowledge on the average age people get married. The conversation went like this:

Me: “Wow, I can’t believe Jason just got married”

Scott: “Well, he’s 27 already.”

Me: “So? That’s just five years older than us.”

Scott: “…”

Me: “…”

Holy Shit.

Counting backwards, it looks like this. If Jason got married when he was 27, it means he must’ve gotten engaged at most one year before – when he was 26, give or take 6 months. And guys like myself and Jason, we’re not just gonna wife the next pretty chick we see. Jason started dating Rachel for three years before he proposed – when he was 23.

So by the time I’m 23, I better be dating the girl of my dreams.

At this point you’re saying, well Joey, the age of marriage gets higher every year! Plus, there’s no rule that says you have to get married at 27!

Indeed, but …

let’s look at some statistics.

Average ages at first marriage from select countries:

Canada: 34.3 for men, 31.7 for women

USA: 27.8 for men, 26.0 for women

United Kingdom: 30.7 for men, 28.5 for women

Australia: 30.6 for men, 28 for women

Philippines: 25.8 for men, 19.3(!) for women

Japan: 30 for men, 27.3 for women

China: 23.8 for men, 22.1 for women

South Korea: 31 for men, 28 for women

India: 23.9 for men, 19.3 for women

Canadian men actually top the known list as the oldest ones to get married! But, check out the cultural differences. How does this affect us, asian canadians/americans? Well, think about when your parents got married. We might be Generation Y, but of course our family has a great influence on our own decisions. My mom got married when she was 19, and my dad was 20. Well, (20 + 34.3) / 2 = OH SHIT 27.15!!

Editor’s Note for the arithmetically challenged: That was taking the average between the age Joey’s Dad got married and the age typical Male Canadians get married. Yes, that was math. Whatup.

So the worry, as you can see, is that whoever I’ll be dating when I’m 23 will be the one who will carry my last name. Why does it have to be when I’m 23? Well, you hear about all these relationships lasting 3 or 4 years just for them to break up in the end. What gives, right? At this point, you’re probably saying: well Joey, you could just meet someone when you’re 25 or 26 and get married when you’re 27 right? Well, let’s introduce the cost of searching, and why this happens so frequently.

The Cost of Searching in Relationships

The question is, why do so many people date the same person for so long (ie. 2-3 years) when they’re young, break up, and then turn around and get married to someone they’ve only been seeing for a year or so?

The answer is simple: when you’re young (16-21), you’ve got options. You’ve got responsibilities, but barely. You have your pick of other single (and sometimes not-so-single) individuals to satisfy your relationship needs. In short, you can afford to waste time. However, as you get older, the number of single individuals starts to wane as people get into more serious, committed relationships. Your selection is not as big as it once was. So if you’re 26 and single, you’re not gonna be looking to hook up with someone who doesn’t wanna get serious – you need someone to wife/husband ASAP.

This is especially true for women. The reason? Well, marriage is not fair to women, because it’s too easily abused by men. Research shows that in the year following a divorce, women’s living standards fall by 27% while men’s living standards rise by 10%. I’ll talk about this more the reasons for this in my next article, but the long story short is because men have a longer time to search for the perfect woman, and women have less time to find the best husband. Men pay a smaller price (and many even benefit) from a divorce at age 32, while women on average pay more for divorce at the same age.

Now that we know this information, the lesson is that marriages have a relationship prerequisite for success. I’m not one to impose rules, but my personal buffer before getting down on one knee is probably at least three years into the relationship. Unless you believe in love at first sight, or love at first sight + half a year of dating, don’t get married until you absolutely know as much as you can about your significant other. The three years you invest before marriage will tell you whether you’re gonna regret marrying that person.

Of course, everyone has their own expectations of themselves and when their ideal age to get married is – and some readers might already be married, before they even turned 27. However, for those who haven’t had the marriage conversation with your partner yet – I’m giving you permission to forward them this article to start the topic.

At this point, you’re probably saying: Joey, what’s the big deal? Who cares if you’re gonna meet who you’re gonna get married soon?

Dude are you kidding me? I’M GETTING MARRIED

Joey Santiago is an Economics student at the University of Toronto. He turns 23 in two months.

Age at first marriage. (2010, March 8). In Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia. Retrieved 04:27, March 8, 2010, from http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Age_at_first_marriage&oldid=348465037

Peterson, Richard R. 1996. “A Re-Evaluation of the Economic Consequences of Divorce” American Sociological Review 61:528-36

Related Posts

No related posts.