More Names to Memorize!
March 6th, 2011.
Why is this up-and-coming date important? No reason. Unless you count Alamo Day in Texas.
Oh, and of course, this:
That’s right – it’s almost time for the 5th generation Pokémon game, for the Nintendo DS. I know millions of you are excited to cop or bootleg a copy, and even if you’re not – you’re probably reading this, left palm on your face, going ‘hmmmm.’
Since its creation FIFTEEN FREAKIN’ YEARS AGO, Nintendo has HM surfed the Pokémon franchise around the world and back again, for like the billionth time. There are over fifty video games, a multi-season, international anime series, and thirteen full-length movies that have been released to date. There’s a ludicrous Trading Card Game that’s been around since 1999, and of course, a Manga series.
Remember these two? Don't deny it, you thought Misty was hot.
It is “the second most successful and lucrative video game-based media franchise in the world, behind only Nintendo’s own Mario series,” my friend Wikipedia says. How successful? Well, there’s a Pikachu car and a freakin’ Pikachu plane. That’s how successful.
If you’re wondering, what’s all the fuss about? It’s just a bunch of stupid animals fighting each other. Kinda like cockfighting.
DOES THIS LOOK LIKE COCKFIGHTING TO YOU
For those who are in the mid-teens to late twenties age range, there is no way Pokémon was not part of your lives in some shape or form. I remember in sixth grade running home after school to catch the 4pm episode every single day. Stupid Gary Oak was always one step ahead of Ash. Screw you, Gary Oak. Oh, you’re Professor Oak’s Grandson. HOW F—ING CONVENIENT.
HOW. HOW DID YOU DO THAT.
Anyone remember the foil Charizard card worth one hundred dollars? Like seriously, who has that kind of money when they’re thirteen?
Even if you didn’t play the video games, watch the show, or trade cards – you can see that the impact of the franchise is clear, spawning its own internet memes, parodies in other shows, and brainwashing kids you wanna punch because they’re running around pretending to be Pikachu.
Remember this show? Oh, wait.
On to the video game.
Pokémon Black & White (It may be a Michael Jackson Tribute) is the story of a young teenager who sets out on an epic journey to catch Pokémon, defeat Gym Leaders, and become the Pokémon Master (until the next game comes out). You guessed it: just like every Pokémon game before it in the series. “Why do people play this crap then?” Might be your next question. Well, anyone recognize this screen?
Hmmm. Choices, choices...
At the beginning of every Pokémon game, you get to pick a starting Pokémon out of three choices. They’re all generally very powerful, and are very cute. (Except Bulbasaur turned into this ugly green mess that resembled Jabba the Hutt, so no one picked him) And convenient-freaking-ly, your rival in every game (who’s ass you must kick consistently to move the storyline) picks the Pokémon that will destroy your starter Pokémon one-on-one. What a jerk.
Courtesy of the Super Effective comic on VGCats.com!
The point is – you have choices. And every Pokémon game is different, because it becomes your own. With the 5th generation’s release, there will now be a total of 649 to create your 6-Pokémon team out of. The gameplay is pretty much a complicated version of rock-paper-scissors (ie. Ice is weak against fire, fire is weak against water, etc.) so it’s pretty easy to pick up – warranting accessibility to any age group who can read. That isn’t to say it’s not for hardcore gamers either – there are Pokémon tournaments being held all over the world, and it’s all serious business. All the teams have specific builds (much like Starcraft 2) and the gameplay boils down to a science. And math. Lots of math.
I wasn't joking. How do you think Gary Oak is so good?
If you’re a fanatic, a gamer, or was just a victim of the hype in your childhood, it’s hard not to see that these cute little sort-of-animals are very awesome. Personally, as geeky as it sounds, I can’t wait for this game to come out. And if after fifteen years you’re still convinced that it’s something you’re not even remotely interested in, you have lots of years to think about it. Believe me, this franchise will be around for a long, long time.
More cool stuff:
Gary MotherF—in Oak on KnowYourMeme.com
Bulbapedia, the community-driven Pokemon Encyclopedia
Smogon University & Competitive Battling
Why Does This Happen? Like, Seriously.
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- Joey Santiago
7 comments
Reina says:
Mar 2, 2011
I loved Pokemon…and still do!! I remember I used to have a "pocket pikachu" (we called it pokepika) – you raise a pikachu on a pedometer and the more you walked (e.g. shook the damn thing with your hand) the faster pikachu grew and stayed healthy. Man I miss those days.
Pokefanatic Les too says:
Mar 3, 2011
AHAHAHAAHA RAYQUAZA
I didn't even need to look at the rest of the article to be satisfied loool
pokemonmaniacSLR says:
Mar 4, 2011
i absolutly love pokemon, i am obsessed pokefan,and loved it since the begining, a lot of people say its for kids but acctually more people around 18 still play and still watch the anime,
EV training is not that hard if you hink about it but it does take a lot of training, im just a begginer when it comes to EV training,
my fave pokemon are skitty, gardevior and loppuny and many more, so if you think our fave pokemon is pikachu then think again!! us fans laugh at people
when someone mensoins pikachu, pokemon is so much deeper then you realised
there is a side to pokemon people dont know about, i know cuz ive been there(fan side)
pokemon has made me so clever in many ways a can link almost anything to it!
i am a girl pokemon fan— and yes there are more girls then you realised
the girl fans are more creative then the guys fans, we are the ones that not just play the game to a certain extent but we also love anime so much we write our own fanfics,amv'sand artwork–most of them sometimes include the game too aswell as the anime—maybe cuz us girls are more of the romantics
but i adore pokemon soo much, words cant describe, i love it and us fans know how to stick together!(online that is)
Andy says:
Mar 4, 2011
My girlfriend says I look like Drowzee
Ryan says:
Mar 7, 2011
Just picked up the game.
And by picked up, I mean downloaded.
And by downloaded, I mean picked it up legally in a store.
(which one is it? You'll NEVER KNOW!)
Jennifer says:
Mar 22, 2011
wish I had a console…
Jill says:
Mar 22, 2011
Oh Joey, I think you just sucked at playing Pokemon if you always lost the first fight lol.