As an international student who also travels a lot, I fly pretty often. I don’t just go on a plane to go back home, but I also go on a plane when I go on vacation. In the previous month I flew to California for a short break, and hours ago I arrived at home (Bangkok) after flying from Toronto. I think going on a plane is a different kind of experience than any other transportation. So I decided to write a post about what I have discovered from flying.

1. The flight attendant does not know it all

Don’t expect your flight attendant to be able to answer every single question you have. Here’s what happened to me during my flight back…

Flight attendant: *Pushing the food trolley* What would you like to eat? Chicken pasta or beef with rice.

Me: Is the beef with rice spicy?

Flight attendant: *Smiles and giggles* I don’t know… I’m not the one eating it.

Me: ……….

Me: I’ll just take the beef with rice.

2. Not every flight attendant is young, tall, and flawlessly beautiful

My cousin’s girlfriend once applied for a job as a flight attendant and got rejected because she has a birthmark on her arm. These kind of stories shape the stereotype that flight attendants must look ‘perfect’. And I can assure you that is not true. I’m sure the fact that she happens to have a small birthmark on her arm is not the main reason why she did not get the job. There is a thing called foundation that many girls use to cover up their skin. Airlines nowadays do not necessarily look for ‘beautiful’ girls, they look for people who are experienced, have good customer service skills, look good (there’s a difference between ‘being beautiful’ and ‘looking good’), and are simply a nice fit for them.

Sorry Britney, you’re not exactly a perfect fit.

3. If you’re flying with an Asian airline and you’re Asian, they will instantly assume you’re their nationality.

Flight attendant: !@#$%^&*()

Me: Sorry, I don’t speak Chinese.

Flight attendant: What do you want to drink?

This happened to me more than 10 times throughout my trip from Toronto back to Bangkok, all the way from a flight attendant to a duty free shop staff. The same thing also happened to me when I flew with Korean Air and Japan Airlines, but it’s interesting that when I flew with Thai airways, they spoke English to me instead… isn’t that kind of sad?

4. Be very thankful if you’re not sitting next to a baby, a sick person, or a person who cannot fit into his/her seat

And so I am thankful that my plane was pretty empty so I had the whole row to myself and there were no babies around. My family fly so often that each of them have their own experiences to share…

Brother: There was a baby sitting right in front of me.

Me: Oh, was he cute?

Brother: I’m glad I didn’t have a weapon with me…

——————————

*A person nearby sneezes*

Mum: Tissue on your nose!

Me: Mum, I’m not going to get SARS.

Mum: You never know! Do you want to die?!

And so mum covered her nose for the rest of the flight…

——————————

Dad: Which will cost more, buying 2 economy seats which are right next to each other or just buying the damn business seat?

Me: I don’t know. You can check…

Dad: Why can’t the guy just buy the god damn business seat. That way no one has to go through the fuss of extending his seat belt. It’s not comfortable for me and it’s not comfortable for him!

5. Small conversation with the person next to you can be interesting

You never know what to expect. Once a stranger talks to you, your mind immediately judges whether that person is ‘weird’ or harmless to talk to, and then you choose to either avoid them or continue talking to them. Well, when you’re sitting next to them on a plane, you don’t really have the option to avoid them, but sometimes sticking through and listening to them can be pretty interesting. On my flight back I met a middle aged Taiwanese lady who can speak Thai because she has been living here for 20 years. She started the conversation by complaining how the person in the next row is selfish to keep her laptop on when the plane was about to land. She then went on to tell me that her son used to study in Canada and USA and is currently living in the UK with his girlfriend who she does not approve. She then complained about how much she personally dislikes people in the UK which gave me a different perspective of England. So yes, it was pretty interesting…

6. If you don’t like loud noises, BEWARE of airplane toilet flush!

Laugh away but I actually block my ears every time I flush an airplane toilet. The extremely small space, the air pressure it slurps, and not to mention the noise, that thing seems capable of sucking in its user any time.


Squeeze in tight!

7. Pick a seat in the middle row next to the aisle (if you can)

I’m not saying this just because you would be able to quickly and easily exit the plane in case of emergency (we all already know that from the safety video they show at the beginning of EVERY flight. They don’t care how many times you’ve seen it over and over. They want you to watch it again), what I’m talking about is the case when the person next to you needs to go to the toilet. Here’s my approach, if you don’t sit next to the aisle then when you need to go to the toilet you have to cross the person next to you, which is troublesome. The same applies if you sit on the very middle of the middle row. And if you sit next to the aisle but on the row next to the window, then you’ll be the one getting crossed over, which you probably would not want. So the ideal seat will be the seat in the middle row but next to the aisle. That way, if you need to go to the washroom, you can easily just get up and go. And here’s the good part, if the person next to you needs the washroom, PRETEND TO BE ASLEEP, that way they wouldn’t want to wake you up and bother you. So they will choose to exit from the other side of the row and bother the person sitting on that side. If the person on the other side happens to be sleeping too, PRETEND TO BE IN A VERY DEEP SLEEP. Give them the it’s-hard-for-me-to-fall-asleep-and-now-that-I’m-in-a-good-deep-sleep-don’t-touch-me impression.

Seats within the ‘D’ or ‘F’ line are ideal ;)

8. Wear comfortable clothes

Wearing skinny jeans or tight shoes will not make your flight any more comfortable. The low pressure inside the plane causes the nitrogen gas in your body to expand, causing your body to temporarily swell a little. Half way through the flight I literally had to switch my ring from my middle finger to my ring finger because my middle finger was getting a little bit too swollen. And I took my shoes off and left them under my seat for the whole flight (I also recommend bringing a small pair of slippers).

9. Eat a lot, but eat healthy

You still want to satisfy your hunger, but you don’t want to get too bloated especially of you’re sitting on a small seat with your seat belt on. Eat plenty but eat something lighter (like veggies and fruits).

10. Drink plenty of water

Your flight attendant should be coming around pretty often offering a glass of water. Take advantage of that. Your body will be sitting in the same spot for hours and you need a kick on your metabolism.

So those are the ten things I have discovered from flying. As for now, it’s 1 am. and I am sitting on my bed feeling jet-lagged (Slept at 7 pm. and woke up a few minutes ago). Thailand happens to be exactly 12 hours ahead of Toronto. Anyways, I wish you all a very happy holiday and a Merry Christmas. Look out for my future posts coming soon.

Note: About pretending to be asleep, I was totally joking (although it really does work ;P)

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